Fidelity

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel as though a common question to someone that is in a relationship planning to go abroad for an extended amount of time is fidelity. Sure, I could agree it is a valid question. You'll meet lots of new people, interesting, smart, sexy, funny, cute, and on and on and on. So, there is a wide variety of new faces from a variety of places. What a selection, right? Am I going to lie and say that this isn't true? No. Because it is. It is always true for anyone who goes off to some new place for an extended amount of time. The mind wanders around from fantasy to fantasy, what if, how would, blah blah blah.

Okay, so these are thoughts that people have from day to day on a different level of frequencies. Being someone who has cheated in the past and has been cheated on, I have experienced both sides of physical manifestations of these thoughts. At the time, it seems like such a true thing, like this is how things should be. Like he or she is the perfect person you've been searching for. It's like finding a new outfit at a store and thinking how great you look in it, you're obsessed and constantly think "Damn, I look good." But then sure enough probably less than a month later, you find another new outfit and think that you've got to buy it. That outfit you used to wear doesn't look as good anymore and eventually maybe fades entirely out of your wardrobe. (Am I entirely embracing a stereotype of gay men loving shopping and being promiscuous? Maybe, however I think this is not an issue tied to one group, and if you say it is, then you are a liar. :) ) If you observe the cycle of changing look after look after look, it's exhausting- and even more so, it's very superficial. The same goes with this fidelity situation. You might see someone new and think that they would look really good on you, but more importantly are they actually better than your partner at home? Are they as perfect as you picture them, flawless looks and personality? No. This is the New Outfit Syndrome.

****However, if your partner is like a pair of shoes that is too small, giving you constant blisters whenever you try to run anywhere, would it more comfortable and beneficial to keep them off or to donate them to charity and walk barefoot for a while?

Is this all a bit flawed, in that no one wears the same outfit every single day (if they can afford not to), and by saying that I am accidentally implying that you are with a new person everyday of your life unless you are naked? Yes. But you get the point.

I wanted to write all of this because fidelity has been a question and issue from others and myself. We all have choices with the thoughts that enter our minds and the people that enter our lives, the situations and opportunities presented every second. There is no clear cut "black and white" answer to matters of fidelity, but I believe that if you've got someone great in you life that you need to remind yourself of that when something comes along. I've got a wonderful guy who enriches my life so much and respects me and looks really good on me and I've seen lots of other outfits, and some might look good on me, but I am more than happy with the one I've got now.

A while back, I videotaped myself singing a song from my one of my grandma's old country hits song books. I don't know how to read music, so I just used the lyrics and made up my own music. The lyrics are very relevant to my situation.

I hope all of this doesn't seem too ridiculous.

Thanks for reading.